Understanding Challenging Behaviour: Why Behaviour Is Communication
When a child or adult with a disability engages in challenging behaviour—such as hitting, screaming, throwing objects, or running away—it is natural for those around them to feel frustrated, confused, or even angry. The most common question parents and support workers ask is, “Why are they doing this?”
The answer is almost always the same: They are trying to tell you something.
At Behaviour Bridge, Julianne Shepley, a Positive Behaviour Support Practitioner in Perth, helps families and support teams decode these messages. In this guide, we will explore the core philosophy of Positive Behaviour Support (PBS): that all behaviour is a form of communication.
Shifting the Paradigm: From “Naughty” to “Needs”
Traditionally, society has viewed challenging behaviour through a lens of compliance. If a child refuses to follow an instruction, they are “defiant.” If they throw a toy, they are “naughty.” The standard response to this view is punishment: time-outs, taking away privileges, or stern reprimands.
However, for individuals with developmental delays, autism, or intellectual disabilities, this approach rarely works. In fact, it often makes the behaviour worse.
Why? Because punishment only addresses the symptom (the behaviour), not the cause (the underlying need).
Positive Behaviour Support requires a paradigm shift. Instead of asking, “How do I stop this behaviour?” we must ask, “What is this person trying to communicate, and how can I help them communicate it in a safer way?”
What Is the Behaviour Communicating?
While human behaviour is complex, decades of research have shown that almost all challenging behaviour serves one of four main purposes, or “functions.” A Functional Behaviour Assessment (FBA) is used to determine which of these functions is driving the behaviour.
1. “I want to get away from this.” (Escape/Avoidance)
The person is trying to escape a situation, task, or environment they find unpleasant or overwhelming.
Example: A child flips their desk over when handed a difficult math worksheet. The behaviour communicates: “This work is too hard, and I don’t know how to ask for help.”
2. “I want that.” (Access to Tangibles)
The person wants a specific item, activity, or food.
Example: A teenager hits their support worker when told it is time to turn off the iPad. The behaviour communicates: “I want to keep playing my game, and I don’t want to transition.”
3. “Look at me.” (Attention)
The person is seeking social interaction. It is important to note that for someone seeking attention, even negative attention (like being yelled at) is better than being ignored.
Example: A child repeatedly drops their cup on the floor while their parent is on the phone. The behaviour communicates: “I want you to interact with me right now.”
4. “This feels good” or “This helps me cope.” (Sensory/Automatic)
The behaviour provides internal physical sensation that is either pleasing or helps the person regulate their nervous system. This is very common in autistic individuals.
Example: A person rocks back and forth forcefully when in a crowded shopping centre. The behaviour communicates: “I am experiencing sensory overload, and this movement helps me feel grounded.”
The Iceberg Analogy
A helpful way to understand behaviour is to think of an iceberg.
The tip of the iceberg—the part you can see above the water—is the challenging behaviour itself (the hitting, screaming, or running away).
But the massive, hidden part of the iceberg below the water represents the underlying causes driving the behaviour. These hidden factors might include:
– Communication difficulties: Not having the words to say “I’m in pain” or “I’m scared.”
– Sensory processing differences: Experiencing the environment as painfully loud or bright.
– Anxiety or trauma: Feeling constantly unsafe or on edge.
– Unmet physical needs: Being tired, hungry, or unwell.
– Lack of predictability: Not knowing what is going to happen next.
If you only try to chip away at the tip of the iceberg (by punishing the behaviour), the massive block of ice underneath remains unchanged. The behaviour will simply pop up again in a different way.
How to Respond: Teaching Replacement Skills
Once you understand that behaviour is communication, your role changes from an enforcer to a teacher.
If a person is using challenging behaviour to communicate a need, you must teach them a better, safer way to communicate that same need. In PBS, this is called a “replacement skill.”
- If they hit to escape a noisy room, teach them to hand you a “Break” card.
- If they scream to get a toy, teach them to point to the toy or use a communication device.
- If they act out for attention, teach them how to tap you gently on the arm to ask for a hug.
Crucially, when they use the new replacement skill, you must honour it immediately. This teaches them that the new, positive communication works much better and faster than the challenging behaviour.
How Behaviour Bridge Can Help
Decoding the meaning behind challenging behaviour can be difficult, especially when you are emotionally invested and exhausted. You do not have to figure it out alone.
At Behaviour Bridge, Julianne Shepley provides expert Positive Behaviour Support services for families and NDIS participants in Perth. We conduct thorough assessments to uncover the “why” behind the behaviour, and we work collaboratively with you to develop practical Behaviour Support Plans that teach new skills and improve quality of life.
Need help understanding your loved one’s behaviour? Contact Behaviour Bridge today to discuss how Julianne Shepley and our Positive Behaviour Support services in Perth can support your family.
